8 Sentence Sunday #1

Posted Feb 3 2013, 7:30 am in , , , ,

For those of you you followed Six Sentence Sunday, you know that the founders of that group decided to hang up their hats. I love the idea of posting little snippets each week to give readers a sneak peek into my books. I’m happy to say that a new group has formed to do Eight Sentence Sunday. Here’s the complete list for participants. And here’s my 8 sentences for this week from A Good Time (which will release 7/4). Griffin has come to the bar where Indy works part time and watches as she sings to customers. Then he convinces her to sing to him.

                          Griffin eased into a half-smile and finished his beer while she sang. His eyes locked on her face. Even when she moved and wiggled with the music. Regardless of his comments about her uniform, he stared into her eyes.

                          That alone unnerved her. A man ogling her body she knew how to handle. With Griffin, it felt like more. In that moment, she knew they were never going to have a strictly professional relationship.

 

 

6 Comments

Comments

6 responses to “8 Sentence Sunday #1”

  1. Happy 1st 8 of the Year! I may be looking at your 8 with a more “knowing eye” than others since I’ve read More Than This and know Griffin and Indy, but even so, I feel you do a nice job showing characterization in the way you describe how he “eased into a half-smile” and Indy’s confidence in handling oglers.
    Two things: 1 – is there a way to get rid of the “that” you use to start sentence 5? Something more descriptive…effective? 2 – she says, “they were never going to have a strictly professional relationship.” Is this before he hires her? If it’s after, perhaps she might think more about how she won’t be able to keep it professional?
    Can’t wait for more from these 2 🙂

  2. A very sweet six. He won me over by staring at her eyes–much more appealing than a man ogling her breasts!

  3. I’m with Clare, a man staring into your eyes is SO much harder to resist. I enjoyed the snippet (and “that” is the bane of MY writerly existence too…)

  4. I really like how you set this up. A man who makes eye contact when there’s a perfectly good set of boobs within sight is very well portrayed. I enjoyed this very much!