8 Sentence Sunday #25

Posted Sep 8 2013, 7:00 am in , , , ,

Continuing on from Something to Prove, Elizabeth is still in the bar that she didn’t know her father owned. 

                                      “Excuse me, I’m looking for the manager,” she called out.

                                      “Are you the health inspector?” a grizzled man asked while drying a glass with a dirty cloth. His pasty skin reminded her of a vampire’s, but she doubted he’d sparkle if she took him into the sunlight.

                                      “No, I’m the owner.”

                                      He laughed and the men sitting on stools at the opposite end of the bar joined him. She stiffened. It wasn’t like this was the first time she’d been laughed at, and it undoubtedly wouldn’t be the last. She produced a card from her suit coat pocket and slapped it on the bar. 

 

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9 Comments

Comments

9 responses to “8 Sentence Sunday #25”

  1. Nan says:

    Nice…I’m in! Anxious to see how this one turns out. She showed them her backbone when she slapped the card on the bar.

  2. Frank Fisher says:

    Oh take that gentlemen! This is my first time reading your snippets, and I was taken in by the men laughing at her. Intriguing 8!

  3. Michelle says:

    The bikers are the ones in trouble to my way of thinking

  4. Good thing she’s tough! Excellent excerpt, can’t wait to read more of the story.

  5. Sarah Cass says:

    Nice! Love the intro…I could totally picture the joint as you described it.

  6. Cara Bristol says:

    You hooked me. I love this. It’s a classic scene — the woman entering the “man’s world” and having to prove herself.

  7. J.A. says:

    Great tension created in only 8 sentences. Well done!

  8. Great snippet! I laughed out loud at the “not sparkling in the sunlight” line. 🙂

  9. Millie Burns says:

    Damn straight…jerks, choke on that!